5 Things 20 Something Year Olds Should Not Be Doing

"10 things every 20 something should do, 20 behaviors of successful people," blah blah blah. I'm sure I'm not the only person whose news feed has been bombarded by these redundant and quite obvious  list of things you should be doing. Well this is a list of things you should NOT be doing in your twenties and are more insightful than "put some money aside for your future."

1) Looking To Others for Happiness

• This is such a simple concept that many fail to grasp. Emotions, for the most part, can be controlled and are usually voluntary at this point in your life. Getting angry is due to your voluntary allowance. I am still amazed when my friends or family complain and get worked up about someone at work, or some girl/guy they're talking to. The only two reasons you should get angry or worked up because of someone is if that person is family or yourself. Expectation is the root of all disappointment and if you keep putting expectations in people other than family or yourself, be prepared to be disappointed multiple times. Believe in yourself. Have the highest expectations for yourself and your family. Place yourself in situations that will make you the happiest and if you don't, realize staying in that situation is a decision.

2) Dreaming

• Having a dream is great when you're in high school and maybe your Freshman year of college. But after that, your dreams should become expectations, goals, milestones. Some people get lost in their dreams and wake up when they're in their 30s or 40s and are in situations that make it difficult to pursue those dreams. Your dreams are their freshest during this period and you will most likely be in an environment that will allow you to make connections and network with fresh minds that could help you realize your dream. And if you don't have the connections or are not heading in a direction that will enable you to achieve this dream, you can readily make changes as needed. This is a buffer period that will allow you to take risks and make some mistakes, unless if you have kids or other dependents, with little repercussions. Take advantage of this fact and work towards your goals.

3) Waiting for A Big Break

• Sometimes a big break is the result of a series of minor events that lead up to that moment. Whether its through the addition of small ventures that eventually sum up to that moment, or small moves that lead you to an opportunity to make a big move. Life is a process that takes time and each second of the process is valuable. Don't be blinded by your destination failing to appreciate and learn along the journey. A house is not dumped on a piece of land. Its foundation must first be built followed by progressive layers.

4) Looking Up to Others

• Lets start with the obvious fact that you are now an adult and are most likely midway through college and above. At this point in your life, you should be developing YOUR own ideas, not duplicating someone else's ideas. It is good to look up to people when you're young. They influence you and help mold your persona while young. As you get older these idols should become your peers. You should be striving to produce the best material in your field and be on the frontier. Strive to rival and overtake the works of your idols, not just gaze overwhelmed by their works. 
• This point is not to devalue the work of our predecessors or to promote arrogance. We never stop learning as human beings and there is always something to learn from others, but let us not be crippled by the works of our idols. Make your own lane and give future generations someone else to idolize. 

5) Blaming Others

• You're no longer a child. You're an adult. With adulthood comes sovereignty. Meaning you are the sole proprietor of your actions and ultimately your future. Your actions will determine who you become and what you become. Do not let outside influences be pivotal in your decision making, especially major ones. Be grounded in who YOU are and the GOALS you have set. Following these two factors will always lead you to your desired destination leaving no room for regrets. There are obviously things we can't control and just have to work around, but at the end of the day, we still remain the architect of our future. No one can defer us from our goals without our consent. 

I do realize the nature of this list is quite selfish, but isn't that what your twenties are all about. The period you progressively become independent. The period most of us leave the nest physically, mentally, or both. This is the period most of us experience loss of loved ones, grow apart from friends, fall in and out of love, or move to new places. So many events occur during this period, both good and bad, that will demand some degree of selfishness to be successful. Above all, keep loved ones close and never forget the true value of relationships, because no man is an island. Be tough on yourself and don't put aside your aspirations. Give yourself breaks and take the time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life like family, friends, laughter, traveling, experiencing the world, and my favorite, sky gazing.

Share this if you find it useful, comment on the article and enjoy,

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Nigger: Demystifying the word

The use of the word nigger. This is a topic that I have pondered on in the past and figured I would write about it acknowledging its resurgence into the spotlight in American media.

First of all, let me start by listing the only three reasons a person can use the word nigger, or any of its variants:

1) You're black

2) You're racist
3) Discussing the topic, like this instance

Although susceptible to some subjectivity on my part, I believe that most people will agree on this proposition of the use of the word nigger. I base this assumption on the historical background of the word. Nigger, historically, is a term that was used by whites to label black slaves in America. It was used in a derogatory manner that was meant to devalue slaves.
This history shows the original context and participating parties involved in the concoction of this word in American culture. Although complex and rich in its history, I will proceed with this brief historical context for the sake of simplicity and to focus the discussion on its use in modern America.

Personally I could care less about the use of the word and if given the option, would prefer if no one used it. It is not a word that I deem necessary to be in my vocabulary and can very well get by without using it. For some people this is not the case. As mentioned, nigger is a word that has a strong relationship between whites and blacks. For some, they might have grown up hearing and using this word based on their location. For this reason, the word will be more natural and embedded in their vocabulary, making it difficult to communicate without this word. This is understandable. But for a while, there has been a steady increase in the use of the word amongst people not situated in the original context of the use of the word.

For whites, saying nigger is not a real issue because the word was initially devised by them for the purpose of expressing their distaste towards blacks. For blacks, saying nigger can mean whatever they want it to be because the word is "owned" by blacks. By that, I mean that the word was used exclusively to describe blacks, sort of like a name or a nickname. The recipient of the name can in turn accept/decline that name, choose how to respond to that name, or dictate the meaning of that name. So, in this sense, blacks saying nigger is not really an issue. So what's the problem?

As mentioned, there have been increases in the use of the word amongst people not situated in this "group" (racists and blacks). White teenagers and young adults now casually refer to each other as nigger. Mexicans and other Latino groups do similar things referring to each other as nigger. And there are cases where non-blacks refer to their black comrade as nigger. The aforementioned situations cause me to scratch my head. To me, I will never see a white person calling me a nigger as a form of endearment. If blacks want to refer to each other as niggers as a term of endearment then that is fine; as mentioned, the bearer of the name dictates the value of that name. But what is it that makes people not exclusive to this "group" feel the need to say nigger so casually. White people are called crackers/honky, Mexicans and Latinos wetback/beaner. If there is such a desire for groups to have some name that they can use to refer to each other, how come these groups are not taking control of their designated terms and using it. There are plenty of racial slurs that exist for different groups but I don't go looking for them because I have no use for racial slurs in any context. I am neither a racist nor do I belong to any of those groups so it will be illogical and inefficient to incorporate such terms into my vocabulary. This doesn't make me a better person than someone who uses racial slurs.

I will acknowledge the rise in the prominence of rap music in American culture as a major player in the desensitization of the word in our culture, but it has to be more than that. I listen to rap and I am black but yet I don't get the urge to spew the word whenever I speak. So what is the real underlying reason for the casual use of the word nigger amongst out-groups? Share your thoughts on the situation. I would love to hear especially from someone in the out-group that uses the word casually.

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North Korea Should Have Nuclear Weapons

My first blog post! What better way to set it off than with a controversial topic, although a little late, I feel this is still relevant.

Before I start, this post will jump from a series of random topics that can be discussed in depth on their own. My hope is that these individuals pieces will be strung together by the reader allowing for a grand view of some main issues (Hegemony, freedom, violence, and hypocrisy).

Prior to the Boston bombing, the news was clamored with nuclear threats from North Korea (NK). American government officials were interviewed about their thoughts and what course of action needed to be taken.  Along with these interviews, the general consensus was that North Korea should not have nuclear weapons. Now, my sources are not extensive but rather just bits of information from various news sources, but I have yet to come across a source that says otherwise, and rightfully so. Why would anyone support North Korea having nuclear weapons? Their leader, from what we have seen tends to be somewhat erratic and unpredictable. Plus his young age makes his unpredictability even more concerning. But my point here is not to condemn their leader or list reasons why North Korea should not have nuclear weapons. I feel like there is already enough of that out there. Rather I want to analyze the situation from a detached and objective perspective and see if the critiques are justified and whether NK should have nuclear weapons....

Lets state some points:

• North Korea is a sovereign country, just like any other country. Meaning they have complete jurisdiction over their operations within their country.
• To my knowledge, Obama has not approached Kim Jong Un. In fact, last time I was watching the news there was no diplomatic tie established between both countries (U.S. & NK), and the government officials that were being interviewed were not supportive of the idea, essentially saying it would be submissive (Hmmmm?).
• Here's a video discussing this by the wonderful Christianne Amanpour. She also mentions other valuable points in this video including the dysfunctional relationship between NK and the world.
• America has nuclear weapons, so does China and other "superpowers". America/other superpowers have not made efforts to eradicate their nuclear weapon arsenal, to the best of my knowledge, and I know it can be done because S. Africa has done so. (Update: Obama has proposed a nuclear-reduction program)

Analyzing these points raises questions:

1. Who are Americans to decline North Korea the right to a nuclear program?
• The first obvious reason is the lack of diplomacy. From what I am observing, the U.S. is acting based on presumptions. Yes there is a dysfunctional history between NK and the U.S., as well as the world, but this is a new leader. This is an opportunity to refresh the dialogue between these countries and start anew. But instead of opening a new dialogue between both parties, the U.S. has decided to turn its back on this possibility and act on prejudgments. I personally feel that the stakes are too high for such antics. 
• North Korea is a sovereign country that has the right to develop a nuclear program if deemed appropriate by THEIR government. The U.S. and other countries are right to be concerned with this proposal, but the reality of the situation is that there is little they can do. Plus this leads to my second point...
2. Is it not hypocritical for superpowers to oppose other countries the right to developing a nuclear program?
• America, along with other superpowers, posses nuclear capabilities but oppose other countries from having the same capabilities (NK, Iran). Clearly you can see the hypocrisy in this proposal. In order for America and other superpowers opposition to hold any weight, they will need to discard their nuclear programs and more importantly their nuclear weapons. Now this proposal sounds much more reasonable, and is one that I personally like. Another proposal would be for America to allow North Korea as well as other countries develop their nuclear programs. This will allow everyone to be on equal playing fields. There are obvious connotations from this proposal as you can imagine, but the point here is not to dwell on the practicality but the principals behind them. 
• I will deviate to drive this point home. In America a similar problem has been heavily debated and that issue is gun control. Some people want the right to have a gun to protect themselves from a tyrannical government as well as other dangers and simply because it's an "American thing". Others oppose gun rights and want guns to be removed from society. As you can see there are some parallels between both situations, just scaled differently. America and other superpowers have a history of invading other countries and extending their reach of power a little too far (my opinion). Knowing Americas tendencies, I would be cautious as a smaller country. What I'm trying to say is that developing a nuclear program and nuclear weapons, to some of these countries, could be more of a response to this realization, because how are you going to trust someone who can just shoot you if you don't do as they request. It would be better to at least have some means of fighting back in such instances. I am aware of the potential threats associated with allowing these countries to develop nuclear programs but as I mentioned, I am not trying to validate the practicality of such notions but rather the underlying principals behind each. In a country that believes so strongly in the right of its citizens to protect themselves from a tyrannical government as well as other threats, it would be absolutely hypocritical to deny these same rights to other countries.    

Are the critiques on NK and other "smaller" countries like Iran justified, and should these countries be allowed to develop a nuclear program without the condemnation of other superpowers? Comment with your thoughts. I have my view and opinion on the matter and would like to see what other peoples views are as well. Please keep in mind a few things; I am NOT an expert analyst (These are random thoughts I formulated while reading and watching this news develop), these are mostly objective observations and rebuttals to some of the perspectives on the situation.

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http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2013/05/obama_says_he_has_never_spoken.html

Introduction

Welcome,

About me: Ochuko, I'm currently 21.

I know that's a very brief and empty introduction, but it's intentional in luring the attention away from the author and drawing focus unto the content of this blog.

What to expect?

• As indicated in the headline, I will try and keep the topics consistent with contemporary issues.... but I might post some occasional randomness lol. 
• The majority of the posts will probably be responses to current events, talking about concepts that might pop in my head, or just posts about things I like or think are cool. 
• Overall I hope to build up a discussion and get peoples perspectives on different topics, whether you agree or disagree with my analysis of the topics, or whatever you want to discuss.
• I will try to remain objective in the discussions unless stated otherwise. 

Well that's all I can think of at the moment. Hope you enjoy the blog. Comment with any questions, and share if you like the post. One love.